Smoking My Friends Down to the Filter

Where I work if you are spending time with a girl, even if you aren’t dating, you need to tell the higher ups about it just in case you ended up dating. Which is really crazy. Basically I feel it would go like this. “Hey, just so you know I have been talking to so-and-so and I don’t know where this is going but just in case anything happens I am giving you the heads up. Oh and don’t tell her I said any of this because it will make me sound like a complete presumptuous nutbag.” I mean really…way to make that person look like a weirdo when they have to break down the reasoning to the person they are hanging out with as to why they should tell management they are hanging out. I think the way I would do it is schedule a meeting and have a list and say “Here is a list of all the people I would fuck, so if anything happens with any of them I gave you the heads up…I know your wife is on the list but since we have to make you aware of all of our life possibilities I figured I better put her on there because who knows what the future holds…I know you are on the list too, and believe me I am not gay; But you putting a roofie in my drink and taking advantage of me is in the realm of possibilities…No I am not saying you’re a rapist, look I am just playing by your rules here. Also I may take a shit on your car later, or I might not, OK byes.”